Copyright © 2002 LeeAnn Heringer

essays from the back of the book


it was the summer
the plane tickets to Italy sat
on the kitchen table,
the pale envelope reminding me
all promises are white until
you touch them.
it was the summer
of the company's IPO
where we drank champagne
on the beach at sunset
over an illegal bonfire
and toasted our
some-day-some-day-some-day
all-this-will-be-ours
uncashable paper fortune.

the summer they gave me a T-shirt
"the next internet billionaire"
and I painted a red bullseye on it
because wearing that shirt
in the wrong part of town
could get me killed.
but even with the bullseye
to add irony, I never wore it.

breakfast still smells of grapefruit.
the sky in the early afternoon
when the fog burns off is milky
over calligraphy hills drawn in chinese ink
like all the other Septembers.
the kickboxing classes
are coming along nicely.
I've moved up to working on
punching bags and the occasional
QA manager when I catch him
sleeping at his desk.

today, the snow angel
I've been making, waving my arms
and legs on the polished oak floor
of my office in an effort to stave off
each new crisis,
is going to be lonely.
the plane is finally leaving for Italy.

Dan and I, looking exhausted, at the pre-IPO company meeting. July 8th, 1999.
Our engineering space in the old new building. My office was the last one on the bottom. The green, yellow, red lights on the arm of the umbrella in the foreground showed the server state.
After gym class.
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Created 6/04/02. Updated last on 3/7/03.